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Furigana Show|Add to ▼ Source Totoeba Project
I had tried to avoid thinking that as much as possible but as soon as I faced it I started to feel miserable.
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Vocabulary list

narubeku
adverb
  1. as (much) as possible; as (much) as one can; wherever practicable; if possible
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kangaeru

masu stem

kangae
ichidan verb, transitive verb
  1. to think (about, of); to think over; to ponder; to contemplate; to reflect (on); to meditate (on)
  2. to consider; to bear in mind; to allow for; to take into consideration
  3. to think (that); to believe; to hold (a view); to judge; to conclude; to suspect
  4. to intend (to do); to think of (doing); to plan
  5. to predict; to anticipate; to expect; to imagine
  6. to come up with; to think up; to contrive; to devise
  7. to consider (as); to regard (as); to look on (as); to take; to view
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mai
auxiliary
  1. probably isn't (doesn't, won't, etc.)
  2. don't (doesn't) intend to; intend not to
  3. must not; (when used in an imperative sentence) don't
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toha
expression, particle
  1. indicates word or phrase being defined
  2. used for quoting (thoughts, speech, etc.) (indicates contrast or adds emphasis to a negative statement)
  3. with (more emphatic than と)
  4. (not) as much as; (not) so much as (with neg. verb)
  5. the fact that; to think that; such a thing as (indicates surprise, disbelief, anger, etc.; sometimes at sentence end)
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to
particle, conjunction
  1. if; when
  2. and
particle
  1. with
  2. used for quoting (thoughts, speech, etc.)
noun
  1. promoted pawn
particle
  1. indicates a question (at sentence end)
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ha
particle
  1. topic marker particle (pronounced わ in modern Japanese)
  2. indicates contrast with another option (stated or unstated)
  3. adds emphasis
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omou

te-form

omotte
godan verb, transitive verb
  1. to think; to consider; to believe; to reckon (想う has connotations of heart-felt)
  2. to think (of doing); to plan (to do)
  3. to judge; to assess; to regard
  4. to imagine; to suppose; to dream
  5. to expect; to look forward to
  6. to feel; to be (in a state of mind); to desire; to want
  7. to recall; to remember
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Suffix after the te form of a verb
iru

Plain Past Indicative Form

ita
ichidan verb, auxiliary verb
  1. to be ...-ing; to have been ...-ing (after the -te form of a verb; indicates continuing action or state)
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noda
expression
  1. the expectation is that ...; the reason is that ...; the fact is that ...; the explanation is that ...; it is that ... (の and ん add emphasis)
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no
particle
  1. indicates possessive (occasionally ん, orig. written 乃 or 之)
  2. nominalizes verbs and adjectives
  3. substitutes for "ga" in subordinate phrases
  4. (at sentence-end, falling tone) indicates a confident conclusion (often ん)
  5. (at sentence-end) indicates emotional emphasis
  6. (at sentence-end, rising tone) indicates question
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da
copula
  1. be; is (plain copula)
auxiliary verb
  1. did; (have) done (た after certain verb forms; indicates past or completed action)
  2. please; do (indicates light imperative)
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ga
particle
  1. indicates sentence subject (occasionally object)
  2. indicates possessive (esp. in literary expressions)
conjunction
  1. but; however; still; and
  2. regardless of; whether (or not) (after the volitional form of a verb)
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jikaku
noun, suru verb
  1. self-consciousness; self-awareness
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wo
particle
  1. indicates direct object of action
  2. indicates subject of causative expression
  3. indicates an area traversed
  4. indicates time (period) over which action takes place
  5. indicates point of departure or separation of action
  6. indicates object of desire, like, hate, etc.
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suru

te-form

shite
suru verb (irregular)
  1. to do; to carry out; to perform
  2. to cause to become; to make (into); to turn (into)
  3. to serve as; to act as; to work as
  4. to wear (clothes, a facial expression, etc.)
  5. to judge as being; to view as being; to think of as; to treat as; to use as (as 〜にする,〜とする)
  6. to decide on; to choose (as 〜にする)
suru verb (irregular), intransitive verb
  1. to be sensed (of a smell, noise, etc.) (as 〜がする)
  2. to be (in a state, condition, etc.)
  3. to be worth; to cost
  4. to pass (of time); to elapse
suru verb (irregular), transitive verb
  1. to place, or raise, person A to a post or status B (as AをBにする)
  2. to transform A to B; to make A into B; to exchange A for B (as AをBにする)
  3. to make use of A for B; to view A as B; to handle A as if it were B (as AをBにする)
  4. to feel A about B (as AをBにする)
suffix, suru verb (irregular)
  1. verbalizing suffix (applies to nouns noted in this dictionary with the part of speech "vs")
auxiliary verb, suru verb (irregular)
  1. creates a humble verb (after a noun prefixed with "o" or "go")
  2. to be just about to; to be just starting to; to try to; to attempt to (as 〜うとする,〜ようとする)
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Suffix after the te form of a verb
shimau
auxiliary verb, godan verb
  1. to do completely; to finish (after the -te form of a verb)
  2. to do accidentally; to do without meaning to; to happen to do (after the -te form of a verb)
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to
particle, conjunction
  1. if; when
  2. and
particle
  1. with
  2. used for quoting (thoughts, speech, etc.)
noun
  1. promoted pawn
particle
  1. indicates a question (at sentence end)
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totanni
adverb
  1. just as; in the act of; as soon as; at the moment that (after past tense of verb)
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totan
noun, adverb
  1. just (now, at the moment, etc.); just as; in the act of; as soon as; at the moment that
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ni
particle
  1. at (place, time); in; on; during
  2. to (direction, state); toward; into
  3. for (purpose)
  4. because of (reason); for; with
  5. by; from
  6. as (i.e. in the role of)
  7. per; in; for; a (e.g. "once a month")
  8. and; in addition to
  9. if; although
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wabishii
i adjective
  1. miserable; wretched; lonely; dreary; shabby; comfortless
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youna
pre-noun adjectival
  1. like; similar to
expression
  1. (I) think (that); (I) have a feeling (that) (at sentence end; short for ような気がする)
  2. feels like; feels similar to; feels as if (at sentence end; short for ような感じ（がする）)
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you
noun, used as a suffix, noun
  1. appearing ...; looking ... (usu. after the -masu stem of a verb)
  2. way to ...; method of ...ing (usu. after the -masu stem of a verb)
  3. form; style; design (usu. after a noun)
  4. like; similar to (usu. after a noun)
noun
  1. thing (thought or spoken)
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na
particle
  1. don't (prohibitive; used with dictionary form verb)
  2. do (imperative (from なさい); used with -masu stem of verb)
interjection
  1. hey; listen; you
particle
  1. now, ...; well, ...; I tell you!; you know (when seeking confirmation, for emphasis, etc.; used at sentence end)
  2. wow; ooh (used to express admiration, emotionality, etc.; used at sentence end)
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kimochi
noun
  1. feeling; sensation; mood; state of mind
  2. preparedness; readiness; attitude
  3. thought; sentiment; consideration; solicitude; gratitude
noun, adverb
  1. slightly; a bit; a little
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nimo
expression
  1. also; too; not ... either; as well; even
  2. (it's not possible) no matter what; although one might wish otherwise (after the volitional or dictionary form of verb)
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ni
particle
  1. at (place, time); in; on; during
  2. to (direction, state); toward; into
  3. for (purpose)
  4. because of (reason); for; with
  5. by; from
  6. as (i.e. in the role of)
  7. per; in; for; a (e.g. "once a month")
  8. and; in addition to
  9. if; although
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mo
particle
  1. too; also; in addition; as well; (not) either (in a negative sentence)
  2. both A and B; A as well as B; neither A nor B (in a negative sentence) (as ＡもＢも)
  3. even; as much as; as many as; as far as; as long as; no less than; no fewer than (used for emphasis or to express absence of doubt regarding a quantity, etc.)
  4. even if; even though; although; in spite of (often as 〜ても, 〜でも, 〜とも, etc.)
adverb
  1. further; more; again; another; the other
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naru

te-form

natte
godan verb, intransitive verb
  1. to become; to get; to grow; to be; to reach; to attain
  2. to result in; to prove to be
  3. to consist of; to be composed of
  4. to succeed; to be complete
  5. to change into; to be exchanged for
  6. to play a role
  7. to be promoted
godan verb
  1. to do ... (as お+masu-stem+になる, ご+noun+になる, etc.)
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Suffix after the te form of a verb
kuru
kuru verb, intransitive verb, auxiliary verb
  1. to come back; to do ... and come back (after the -te form of a verb)
  2. to come to be; to become; to get; to grow; to continue (after the -te form of a verb)
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